Is It or Isn’t It?
As believers, we have two choices: Take God at His word or don’t. There is no middle ground. Either the entire Bible is God-inspired and infallible and still applicable to us today, or it’s not. If we start picking and choosing what we want out of the Word of God, then arguments could be made for every verse in it to be thrown out.
Why is this so important to our view of God during or after a betrayal? Because we must allow God to tell us who He is and not our emotions, our culture, or our friends. Humans and cultures are fickle and subject to change, but God says that He is unchanging. He is the same yesterday, He is the same today, and He is the same tomorrow. That means that God is no less loving when He allows you to go through pain or hardships, than when He allows you to go through the best times of your life.
That may not feel like truth when you are actually in the midst of pain, which is why it is during those times that we must choose to take God at His word. Trust is scary. Downright pee-your-pants scary. But when you finally release your imaginary control over your life and choose to trust God, a peace that surpasses all understanding is promised to guard your heart and your mind (Philippians 4:7).
It’s What You Do
Trust is not theoretical; it is practical. In the darkest moment, when you have no strength to stand or to cry out, it whispers: “I may not understand, Lord, but I choose to trust You. I may not see how You will work this to my good, but I choose to trust You. I may not see how this is loving for You to allow, but I choose to trust You. I choose to trust that Your grace is enough, I choose to trust that You are worthy of worship, and I choose to trust that You are close to me even though I may not feel You. I trust for You to be God to take care of Your servant. Have Your will.”
This has been my prayer during many times of pain and betrayal, especially during the time that I mentioned earlier in Part 3: The Betrayal. That situation, because of choosing to trust the Lord, ended up being one of the most peaceful times in my life.
Trust is the daily application of faith—“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1). Faith believes in the invisible; trust commits yourself to God because of what you have faith in. To grow in trust, you must grow in faith, and God says that faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ (Romans 10:17). So, to grow in faith, you must grow in the Word of God.
If you are only going to allow God to define Himself, you need to know what the Word says so that it can define God for you. Remember that Satan is the father of lies and he loves to lie to us about who God is during our most vulnerable moments. During those times though, you need to be able to recognize the lies and throw the word of God in the devil’s face just as Jesus did when He was tempted (Matthew 4 and Luke 4). James says that if you resist the devil, he will flee from you. Resist him with the truth—the Word of God.
If you don’t know the Word well, that is OK. Start now. Read it, drink it, meditate on it, write it down, memorize it, speak it aloud, and pray it aloud—and all of it, not just your favorite verses. To be men and women of faith who trust God through anything, His Word must go down to the deepest part of your spirit. I promise that you will find life in it and that it will change you. Then, you will know God’s character and how He acts, and be able to trust Him through the very darkest moments, even if it is only with a whisper.
Get Ready for Healing
One of the biggest lies that the devil will come against you with is that you are alone. No one can understand you, everyone is against you, and your situation is an exception. On the one hand, Proverbs is correct that “the heart knows its own bitterness, and a stranger does not share its joy” (14:10). You and your pain are unique. No human will ever go through your exact situations with your exact feelings, but the devil is still a liar. Most of the time there are people who can understand most or part of what you are going through, and if there isn’t, then remember that God understands even better than you do (Isaiah 40:27-28). Everyone can’t be against you, because God is for you and will work everything to the good of those who love Him (Romans 8). And your situation is not an exception. Your situation is not somehow unique enough to exclude you from having to forgive, from getting rid of all bitterness, or from trusting in God. God’s Word applies to you in every situation, there is no exception.
God desires to bind up your broken heart and He will use multiple ways of doing so. He will use other people, so let the family of God love on you. Be honest with your prayer requests while being wise with who you entrust yourself to. He will use His Word, so drink it deeply as though it were your very source of life. He will use His presence, so worship Him frequently because He deserves it; set aside chunks of time where you can sit and stay in His presence. He will use His quiet voice, so pray and wait to hear Him respond.
He will also use you pouring out yourself to others, which may seem counter-intuitive because how can you give something away that you don’t possess at the moment (like strength, love, grace, or peace)? But His Word says to: “Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure—pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return” (Luke 6:38). When you give what you don’t possess, God will fill you with Himself so that you do have something to give. Some of the times that I have felt the most drained and low, God has turned into the most beautiful time of ministering to others as I cry out to God to fill my empty soul. The beauty of those times is that God always pours out more than we need to pour out to others and in so doing, He fills us and heals us. Healing should not be the focus of pouring out to others, God’s glory should always be, but it is a beautiful side effect.
Remember to be wise and only do what God calls you to do, for if you go beyond that you will start working in your own strength, which will only drain you. But don’t limit God. He is mightier and greater than our human minds can ever comprehend and He works in mysterious ways. Wait in anticipation for Him to answer your prayers and for Him to use your betrayal to somehow extend His kingdom. He delights in that. So, while we live in this contradiction of expecting but resisting pain, remember to always fix your eyes on Him who endured the cross for the joy of being with you now and for eternity.
Your sister in Christ,
Julianna Curtis, a homeschool grad, graduated from Stetson University in 2011, Summa Cum Laude, with a degree in Accounting Information Systems. She is now a technical analyst at Verizon, a L.I.F.E. group leader and worship team singer at Powerline Church, and vendor coordinator and speaker for the Finish Well Conference.